Administration cracks down on Erb Moon

Billy Bass – Zenith News Editor (April Fool’s Day Edition)

Since the initiation of night-time blitz of the women’s dormitories in the early 60s, the Erb moon has evolved into a monthly activity for male Hesston College students. Each month, they emerge from their dorms in the night and make their way to Erb hall where they share in their obscenities.

But not for much longer. Administrators have decided to crack down on excessive crack.

“I think it’s time we stop this from happening,” said resident director Brent Brockmueller. “We have neglected this issue for too long. At this time we will begin assessing fines and other sanctions for those found to be involved in Erb Moon.”

It’s actually students that brought the concern to administrators. A female student who wishes to stay anonymous says she feels uncomfortable seeing “all that excess skin.”

“I think that if it’s considered an illegal offense to moon people in the daytime, what makes it okay at night?” she asks.

So far, student life has assessed fines of $100 for students found to be involved in the most recent Erb Moon incident. If you’d like to report other concerns or persons involved, you can speak with your resident director. Oh, and happy April Fool’s Day!