Words Alive! Writing Contest Winner: Caitlin Waits (Poetry)
|“The Darkness”

The darkness is creeping in again
I can see it in the corners of my mind
It creeps ever so slowly
As to not be noticed
But I know it’s there
It’s always there
Can you see it, when you look at me?
Do you even see me?
You might be able to see the darkness
It comes out in black t-shirts
Swallowed by a hoodie
Or my father’s sweatshirt
You can tell when I’m fighting, too
My armor is a blouse or dress, hair down, makeup on
But when you ask –
– Why are you dressed up today?
I feel foolish and joke –
– Just because I felt like it
But today, my nice clothes are pooled in my laundry room
I haven’t fought back in so long
I’m afraid the darkness will become the blackness
Swallowing me whole, creating a shell
You won’t see the blackness
No one does
Because the blackness has a Trojan horse
A smile, a friendly hello
The blackness makes me think terrible things
That I’m unwanted, a nuisance
It makes me lie in bed all day
It makes me forget to shower
I never go out when the blackness comes
I stay home, asleep, trying to escape
People say I should be on medicine
But the medicine angers the darkness
Causing the blackness to take charge
And the medicine makes it impossible to fight
It keeps me in a fog
Blind to the darkness, the blackness
And isolated from reality.