Dear Tillman: So I’ve got good news, and I’ve got bad news. The good news is that I have recently entered into a relationship with my wonderful boyfriend (We’ll call him Fred). Now let me just say that I am a strong independent woman and don’t need no man but, if ever a girl did want one, it would be a man like Fred. But, as promised, there is bad news. In two months of dating, we have done nothing but go to Applebee’s… 14 times. Now you must understand that I love Fred dearly, but I am sorely tired of Apples… and Bees… and as sure as the nose on my face, I don’t ever want to see another chicken quesadilla as long as live. I feel bad to mention this situation to Fred for feel of hurting his feelings, but I also don’t want to eat at the Newton Applebee’s until the Kingdom comes. I need some advice on how to handle this situation. – Perpetually Eating a Quesadilla
Dear Perpetually Eating a Quesadilla: Let me first congratulate you on a successful two-
month courtship! It sounds like you two are wonderful for each other. You are strong and independent and Fred is… let’s just say you guys fit well together. Now onto the beast of a problem. When it comes to courting, eating together is a right proper way to get to know someone good and personal like. And when it comes to food, you had me at chicken. I could eat chicken for days! I’d eat it fried, I’d eat it baked, and I’m sure I’d love it in this new-fangled style you call a quesadilla. However, I can also relate to the horror of a poultry as delightful as chicken become mundane and boring. In my opinion, there is not much that bedevils a man quite like monotony. As they say, variety is the spice of life, and it is a lesson in the latter that I give to you today, in the hopes that you can relay these ideas to your wonderful counterpart and restore the savory meat of the chicken to its original glory.
While eating with people is a great way of building community, there are plenty of other activities that get similar results. Now I’m not sure if you’ve noticed this, but Kansas is flat, and windy. Most people so this as a flaw, but to me, that just means prime kite-flying conditions! It is always beneficial to spend time in God’s great creation. Speaking of God’s creation, there is a wonderful place just down to road from the college called the Arboretum, and it is just packed full of really neat naturey things. In my opinion, going on peaceful nature walks is about as close as you can come to the ultimate courtship activity, a horse and buggy ride. On a more modern note, taking a great adventure to the thriving metropolis of Wichita has the possibility of being spontaneous and wonderfully enjoyable.